The Daily Telegraph has produced an intelligent article entitled MI6 handling bundles of cash to Hamid Karzai.It isn’t exactly ground breaking news but it is astonishing that the bribery and corruption continues.

The only way US and UK spymasters can think up of winning the war in Afghanistan is by sponsoring bribery and corruption. Have they been reading too many Enid Blyton spy novels? Many involved on the ground in Afghanistan already admit the war will be lost once troops pull out anyway but this is bordering on farce.

How dumb or desperate can our spymasters get? According to the Daily Telegraph they continue to hand millions in cash to President Karzai of Afghanistan – a man well known for his incorruptibility and philanthropy.

This information is only news because many thought it so senseless that it had stopped ages ago. It may well have very significant ramifications over the next year or so as the proxy wars in the Afghan and Pakistani regions escalate following troop withdrawals.

Why not give the cash directly to South London drug dealers or pushers on the South Side of Chicago rather than allow it for use as bribes? Think of the savings in foreign exchange and transport costs when the heroin gets on the streets of London or Chicago. More to the point, what happened to our Bribery Act 2010 – is MI6 immune? Should the SFO investigate MI6? Why not the CIA too – US lawmakers chase everyone else around the world so some fat cats (per our article of 26th December 2012) might ask why not give them a dose of their own medicine?

No doubt this Noddy and Big Ears plot was sanctioned by some old Etonian committee and/or the equivalent from Harvard. Perhaps the “famous five” from Cambridge or Kabul University were involved? Does Philby still have moles in the banks of the Thames? Maybe nowadays a degree in Corruption from Kabul is worth more than a first from Oxbridge in Politics? Who apart from Karzai benefits from this bribery and corruption? Surely the PM must call on the SFO to intervene? Given our austere times, he could ask Karzai to fund their investigation with our cash.

If drone strikes are ruled out over Pakistan and the Promised Land of troop withdrawals can only be won with bribes then terrorists will be attracted by the vacuum of government awash with cash in Afghanistan assuming they can be bothered to travel that far – they may find the environs of Syria more alluring particularly if more cash and arms are doled out there once it becomes a “no man’s land” as looks likely.

Hasn’t anyone in government got the brains to work out that what is going on is at best morally questionable and at worst criminal and may have very serious repercussions in the years to come this side of 2015 and beyond?

Theorists would say the SFO no longer “do” bribery. Perhaps it should be SOCA then but they are so elitist nowadays you rarely hear of them any more. We know the Metropolitan Police apparently don’t investigate financial crimes even if over £1 billion. We say the SFO are best suited for this – after all the Secular Franciscan Order (SFO) has its roots firmly established over 800 years ago, is of the right moral persuasion and outlived the Spanish Inquisition.

This article was first published on 6th May 2013.

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